Dad Stuff

What proportion of my body needs to be covered in baby food before I can be considered part of one or more food groups?

When this brings tears of laughter to my eyes, is it because it’s really, really funny, or because my brain has been remapped to find it so?

Actually, I’m pretty sure with lines like:

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape?

…I can be confident I would have found it hilarious pre-parenting.

Apparently the ability of a baby to suck nutrients from the mother is the fault of the father.